Depression and Pain

When it comes to pain, the two competing schools of thought are that it’s either “all in your head” or “all in your body.” A study led by researchers at the University of Oxford concluded that pain is a combination of both. To examine the interaction between depression and pain, Dr. Chantal Berna and colleagues used brain imaging to see how healthy volunteers responded to pain while feeling low. Their findings revealed that inducing depressed mood disrupted a portion of the participants’ neurocircuitry that regulates emotion, causing an enhanced perception of pain. When healthy people were made sad by negative thoughts and depressing music, it was found that their brains processed pain more emotionally, which led to them finding the pain more unpleasant. Rather than merely being a consequence of having pain, depressed mood may drive pain and cause it to feel worse. Traditionally speaking, psychotherapy and medication are used for treatment of depressed mood.

While both can and should be used when deemed appropriate, I’d like to offer other tools. Focused breath work and other forms of meditation are excellent for relaxing the body and regulating a depressed state. Other activities include spending time in nature, volunteering to help others in need and exercising. Two of my favorites are walking and yoga. Keeping a Gratitude Journal is a powerful way to put the focus on all that you HAVE, versus the problems or have-nots. Taking the time to take care of yourself and doing things that you enjoy, no matter how simple, are key. Talk with a trusted friend, family member or professional if you find that your depressed state is overwhelming in any way.

(Parts of this article were taken from Elsevier, posted in the Psych Central newsletter on June 16, 2010.)

 

Holiday “Blues”

Tags

blues, boundaries, care of self, depression, family, holiday, meaning, prioritize, volunteer

As a psychotherapist, I know only too well that the holidays can be a “mixed bag”. The season can be full of activities, food, family and cheer for some but quite difficult for others who have expectations of a Norman Rockwell scene. For some it’s a time of loneliness, reminders of loss and grief, past failures or anxiety about the future. Our culture currently pushes holiday commercialism  from Nov. 1 through Dec. 24. There are demands of shopping, attending parties, decorating, entertaining and guests. In addition, there are constraints on time, money and energy. These demands can even take their toll on a physical level as well. I’m a firm believer in setting boundaries that will help you cope so you can ENJOY the season.

Here are some tips:

1) Keep your expectations reasonable. Prioritize what’s important; make a list and use it to stay organized.

2) Do something to help someone else in need. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or take lots of time or money.

3) Remember the simple pleasures of the season and enjoy those. One of my favorites is driving around looking at all the decorations.

4) Make time to acknowledge sadness or loneliness;you don’t have to feel jolly every second. If you find that the sadness or loneliness is pervasive and overwhelming, seek help.

5) Surround yourself with family and friends you truly enjoy being with. Limit time with those who zap your energy or bring you down. Form a new “family” and traditions if need be.

6) Set aside time to recharge your batteries: scale back, delegate, enjoy time alone or doing something meaningful for YOU!

Happy Holidays!

Cary

P. S. If you experience depression well after the holidays, you may be experiencing SAD (seasonal affective disorder) due to decreased sunlight. Talk therapy as well as Phototherapy (light therapy) can be quite effective in relieving SAD.

SoulCollage(R)

Tags

art, creative expression, healing, images, insight, jigsaw puzzle of the soul, kaleidescope, soul collage, soulcollage(R), therapy

 

SoulCollage(R) is an amazing personalized process using visual images to explore your inner self. It was created by Seena Frost, who has written several books about the process. SoulCollage(R) is a kaleidoscope of you! The process can be used individually or in groups; while it’s not therapy, it is a healing tool. You start by choosing images that call to you and paste them on a small mat board. Once your card is created, you answer a series of questions based on the images. There are several suits of cards that can be made or you can just follow your intuition! I was at a training recently for SoulCollage(R) facilitators and it was incredible how many synchronistic messages we all got. Another way to describe it is a “jigsaw of the soul”. I’m excited to be able to use SoulCollage(R) for group events coming up so please sign up for my newsletter to stay informed. For more information, go to www.soulcollage.com.

 

(Many thanks to Mili Dillard of Lenoir, NC for permission to display her card.)

 

The Weight of Objects

Tags

clutter, disorganization, emotional clutter, frustration, mental clutter, mess, no energy, possessions, unproductive

Recently my friend Zelda mentioned how many people she knows are struggling with the problem of “clutter” right now. I can certainly relate to that and bet many of you can as well. I spent some time recently de-cluttering and re-organizing my home office. It’s always a good feeling to do that and open up some space…literally and figuratively! Personally, having too much stuff that I don’t use or having things in a disorganized state is really frustrating for me and zaps my energy to get things done. With respect to this topic, I came across a great article with the title “The Weight of Objects…Clearing Your Space for Change”. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. How do you all feel when you are challenged with too much stuff and how do you deal with it? Feel free to add any tips you might have too! My tip is to set aside some time to do the de-cluttering….like a rainy afternoon and just stick with it for as long as I’m motivated! I usually find that once I start, I can keep going for quite some time. The trick is getting STARTED!

The Weight of Objects

This recipe for zucchini bread is courtesy of the above mentioned friend Zelda…thanks Zelda!

Zucchini bread

Losing Your Emotional Baggage

 

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could simply lose our emotional baggage the same way our luggage gets lost by airline companies? If only we could turn off our emotions and memories that easily.

Dr. Les Parrott and Dr. Neil Clark Warren provide a compelling definition of emotional baggage: “History is what has happened in our lives. Baggage is how we feel about it. Your psychological perspective on your past determines, to a great extent, your personal health and vitality.” 

Even the most “perfect” upbringing has its baggage. It doesn’t require a traumatic event or abuse to have emotional baggage. Case in point:  Kim grew up in what most would consider an ideal family environment. Her mother was a stay-at-home mom and her dad went off to work every day. She had two siblings, the family went to church at least three times a week and by all accounts Kim had a great childhood … and she did. But that perfection has spilled over into her adult life and Kim has discovered that her expectations for relationships are far too high. Why?  Her parents never allowed Kim and her siblings to see any conflict between them, so Kim grew up with an ideal that in a perfect relationship, there shouldn’t be any conflicts or disagreements.

You would be hard pressed to not know someone in your life that has experienced severe emotional or even physical trauma during their formative years. Whether it involved the death of parent, a nasty divorce, physical abuse or severe emotional abuse, someone that we work with, go to school with or even live with has lived through something traumatic. The difference is how these individuals have dealt with the emotional baggage that comes along with the trauma.

According to Drs. Parrott and Warren, “Everyone has a history and an emotional response to it. What matters, when it comes to being a healthy, thriving human being, is whether or not you have deliberately unpacked your baggage. If not, it is bound to thwart your personal growth. You can never feel profoundly significant at your core until you make peace with this emotional baggage. The healthiest among us, have rummaged around in the contents of their own suitcases. They have explored what they feel and why the feel the way they do about their history. This act of simply identifying and labeling their emotions as they explore their past serves as an amazing springboard to personal growth, self-insight and maturity. It even impacts physical well-being…In order to get beyond your past; you sometimes need to get into your past.”

It’s not easy digging up the past; in fact, it can be very painful. The old adage, “time heals all wounds” really only works if we take steps to start the healing process.

Step one:  Identify blind spots

This step requires complete honesty, a willingness to dig deep and a trusted friend (other than your partner or spouse) or therapist/counselor. Openly face your issues. For example, do you have a temper to the point that you throw things, slam doors or worse?  Obviously, the temper needs to be dealt with, but more importantly, you need to discover what lies behind the temper. Maybe you have an addiction that you’re reluctant to face such as gambling, sexual addiction, drugs/alcohol or perhaps you’re a shopaholic. Whatever the issue, you must be able, willing and ready to face it head on.

Step two:  Stop the blame game.

It’s so much easier to go through life blaming our problems on mom and dad, an older brother or the girl/guy who broke our heart. But eventually you have to take responsibility for your life, your actions and your emotions. The blame game doesn’t change anything. And this includes blaming yourself. If you are stuck in this cycle—snap out of it!  Your life will never get better and you will never move forward until you break the blame chain.

Step three:  Forgive

It is crucial that you reach a point where you can truly let go of the hurt that you have experienced. “No matter how violent it was, how deep it was, how prolonged it was, no matter how much affect there’s been on your life, if you do not extend forgiveness, you are the person stuck with the bitterness and revenge,” said Dr. Dave Currie, National Director of FamilyLife Canada. “A bitter person cannot effectively love others. Letting go is not easy and a person may not deserve it and may not even ask for it, but you should extend forgiveness because of what it will do for you.”  Again, this includes forgiving yourself if needed.

We may not have the option to pack up our emotions and ship them off to a faraway continent, but we do have the option to take charge of them and choose how they will affect us for the rest of our lives. It’s your choice. Here’s to choosing freedom! 

I love this article…especially the step to FORGIVE ourselves as well as others. Most of us carry around some baggage….the question is WHAT do you carry it in? Is it a change purse or is it more like a steamer trunk???!!! I’m in the process of creating an event that will allow you to discover that. We will use SoulCollage(R) techniques to create your “bag”. (To learn more about SoulCollage(R), go to www.soulcollage.com). From there, we will use journal therapy techniques to help you process your baggage. In the meantime, your collage bag will be digitally reproduced onto fabric made from recycled water bottles! Once it’s finished, you’ll have it to take home and use. I’m really excited about this idea and think it’s a great way to turn emotional baggage into something creative, healing and positive. Please subsribe to my newsletter  through my website (www.seasons-of-healing.com) to be updated on this upcoming event. Cary

 

(“Losing Your Emotional Baggage” is from the website www.twoofus.org)

A Summer Place

It’s two days after Labor Day and for many people, summer is over (technically speaking). I’m one of those people who pushes summer stuff to the max…..wearing my flip flops and summer clothes until first frost . I keep my flowers going as long as possible and sit in the sun when I can. To me, SUMMER is also a metaphor that symbolizes our true self. We tend to feel care-free, child-like and happy. I recall many memories from my childhood summers: spending all day in the pool, walking barefoot on hot pavement, riding bikes all over the neighborhood until dark, eating lots of ice cream and popsicles, catching fireflies and staying up LATE! I bet you can come up with quite a few fun memories yourself. I never had a care in the world…those were left to the adults.

As adults, we have responsibilities and stress in our lives. With the demands of jobs, family and what’s happening in the world, we can lose touch with the summer within. The constant pull to communicate electronically further keeps us from connecting to a summer-like place. For me, sitting out on my back patio connects me with summer literally and figuratively. I hear the songs of the birds and cicadas; I see colors of purple, pink, yellow, white, green and blue. I feel the warm sun and cool breeze; I smell the fragrance of my cherished plumerias, gardenias and roses. I enjoy seeing the sunsets and watching the fireflies come out at dusk. We all have ways of connecting with nature through various means. I urge you to take some time and find that summer place within.

Here’s a recipe for yummy peach cobbler (gluten-free). It’s an adaptation as I used fresh peaches, Pamela’s baking mix and doubled the recipe EXCEPT for the amount of sugar and it was plenty sweet….FYI!

Peach Cobbler

8-10 fresh peaches, blanched and peeled, or 4 29-ounce cans of sliced peaches in syrup (drain and reserve 1 cup of syrup)

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, 1 cup cane sugar like turbinado, 2 cups gluten-free baking mix (I like Pamela’s which includes the baking powder), 1 teaspoon salt, 2 large eggs, 1 stick of unsalted butter (3/4 in batter and the rest to butter the pan and dot the fruit before pouring batter over it), 4 tablespoons milk, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 2 tablespoons sugar mixed with 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon for topping.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F/176 C. Drain sliced peaches in a large colander and reserve 2 cups of syrup. Place drained peaches in a mixing bowl and sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg and cornstarch and stir to blend. Pour in the 1 1/2 cups of reserved syrup and stir to blend. (If using the drained fresh peaches, add a little water to the mix.) Pour peach mixture into a 12 X 8 baking dish. In a separate bowl whisk sugar, baking mix and salt until thoroughly combined. Add remaining syrup, eggs, 3/4 c. melted butter, milk and vanilla and mix well. Spoon over peaches evenly. Dot with remaining butter and cinnamon sugar mixture for topping. Bake in oven for 35-40 minutes or until batter is golden brown. Cool before serving with vanilla ice cream. Makes approximately 16 servings.

(Original recipe by Teri Lee Gruss at About.com. Adaptation by me!)

Going with the Flow

Hi and welcome to my first blog post…I’m glad you’re here!

“Nature has cycles and seasons that mirror those of our moods and attitudes.”

(From Science of Mind magazine Daily Guides by Jesse Jennings, September 2011)

Summer is my favorite season and being at the ocean is a special part of summer for me. Just hearing the waves crashing and feeling the water lap over my feet is emotionally and spiritually healing for me. Water in any form can represent emotions and spirituality. I came across a beautiful piece about water from Daily Om (August 19, 2011) that I’d like to share with you.

“The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and streams down a mountain tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a specific time and place, within a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns and obstacles along the way just as a river flows. Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on; as we encounter our own waterfalls we may fall hard but we always keep moving on. Water can inspire us not to become rigid with fear or cling to what’s familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past, but it flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not run away from it in fear of the dark; instead water humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than run away from them. Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river.”

On a related note, I’ve always been fascinated by jellyfish and how they move in the water. Jellyfish wisdom includes: sensitivity to emotions; understanding the value of floating, rather than swimming through trying emotional times; proper use of softness (not being rigid); and the ability to become untangled from the webs of peril in life (animalspirits.com).

Nature has healing messages for us, if we are paying attention.